Wednesday, July 15, 2015

The 10 stages of leaving university

Some students are prepared enough to think about leaving uni before it actually happens. For everyone else, there are some inevitable struggles.

1. Clearing out your room

You haven’t got that much stuff…how bad can it be?

2. Becoming overly sentimental about your belongings

Remember all the free stationery you got at the fresher’s fair? Well, it looks like it didn’t come in handy after all. So why is it so hard to part with that biro collection?

3. Believing that there’s absolutely no way that you’ll have to pay back your library fines

You’ve spent three years racking up library fines with reckless abandon and now you owe significantly more than your overdraft will allow. Surely they won’t make you pay them back now?

4. Actually having to pay off your library fines

The inevitable has happened. You’ve received a threatening final reminder about those fines and it sounds as if a visit from the bailiffs might be imminent. Reluctant to cause a stir among the neighbours, you bite the bullet and go to face the librarians. This is even worse than the time you got caught eating biscuits in the silent study area.

5. Realising there’s no more student discount

You’ve tried to ignore it, but that expiry date on your student card is creeping ever closer and it’s time to accept that you’ll never be able to afford to go shopping again. All the more reason to keep those clothes you were meant to throw away…

6. Facing judgement day…

Oh god. Results. You’ve not been looking forward to this bit. You begin to berate yourself for not working hard enough. You convince yourself that you’re definitely going to fail. You start thinking about all those lectures you missed. Were those nights out really worth it? Will anyone ever employ me? Will I be living with my parents for the rest of my life?

7. …followed by relief

But somehow, miraculously, you’ve made it. You officially have a degree! You can start using social media again without feeling guilty for procrastinating! That is until you realise that everyone you know is posting smug statuses announcing their results and log off in disgust.

8. Graduating

As if the library fines weren’t enough, it turns out that graduation is out to fleece you too. Appalled by the price of gown hire, you begin to consider knocking one up yourself. How hard can it be?

9. Going home

It’s all over. You’ve graduated. You’re living at home again. Your parents won’t leave you alone. Extended family members start interrogating you about your life plans. Moving to a faraway country becomes increasingly tempting, but then you remember that since you’re unemployed you probably can’t afford to go much further than Dover.

10. Starting the job search

The inevitable final stage. Eventually, after weeks of moping around, binge-watching Netflix and googling graduate unemployment statistics, it’s time to sort your life out and start looking for a job. If you can just remember where you saved your CV…

Leaving uni is a daunting prospect, even for the most organised of students. However, you’re not alone! TARGETjobs can help you navigate the unfamiliar territory and create a great graduate CV – even if you haven’t looked at yours in three years. 

Article written by Amie Marshall, TARGETjobs Editorial Intern. Connect with Amie on LinkedIn